The Grace To Love

As we brace for the next holiday (Valentine’s Day) most stores have already placed hearts and bags of candy in their entrances.  So in the spirit of romance and love, let’s revisit the power of LOVE.  But if you know me, there is no way we could possibly talk about love without first defining it, so let’s get to it!

A Firm Foundation

Of all of the disciples who followed Jesus to the end, the disciple John whom scholars tell us was the youngest of all the disciples, is known as the “Apostle of Love.”  Every apostle whose works are recorded in the Bible bring their own flare and personality to their letters.  Paul is known as the Apostle of Grace, because he wrote more about the grace of God than any other New Testament author.  So, likewise John is known as the Apostle of Love because he wrote more about the love of God than any of the other New Testament authors.

When you read and compare John’s Gospel to the other three Gospels (Matthew, Mark, & Luke), you’ll notice a distinct difference.  Most of the stories that are shared in the first three gospels (otherwise known as the “Synoptic Gospels”) are not repeated in John’s Gospel.  And most of the stories that are presented in John’s Gospel stand out in very gracious manner.  I personally believe this is so because by the time that John had written his account of Jesus’ life, the apostle Paul (the Apostle of Grace) had already begun expounding the mystery of Grace.  So when John wrote his account, He by the leading of the Holy Spirit intentionally brought out the stories that clearly showed how gracious Jesus was.

For example, when Jesus encountered the woman at the well (John chapter 4), instead of pointing out her sins and demanding that she love God more, He instead offered her grace by revealing profound truth and telling her who He really was.  The result was that she became the first recorded missionary.  Another example could be when Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery (John chapter 8).  Again, instead of condemning the woman and executing the law by stoning her, He defended her against her accusers and gave her the power over the sin.  If John’s Gospel shows us anything, it’s that Jesus is way more interested in saving us than He is in judging us.

So when it comes to defining love through the unadulterated lens of grace, John defined by the greatest definition that there is:

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”

John 4:10 NLT

Notice that John doesn’t define love by emotions or feelings.  No, he defines it by the way that God feels about you, and then by the way that God acted FOR you.  Love is both HOW God feels about you and WHAT God did for you. 

Common Misconceptions

When it comes to the topic of God’s love, you have to realize that it’s a vast pool of revelation that you can draw from.  In fact, the apostle John said in 1 John 4

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

1 John 4:8 NKJV

So to expound on the love that God has for you is to expound on the very nature and core of who God is. 

One common problem that the Church has advocated for years is to look at how much we love God and push this narrative as a means to encourage church attendance, good behavior, and an appearance of holiness.  Don’t misunderstand me, while consistently being present in church has major benefits to your overall well-being, good/godly behavior reinforces your ability to minister to others, and holiness has a list of benefits all by itself, none of these things determine HOW God feels about you today.  And none of these things determine whether or not God will move in your favor.

Take for example one of the most common passages of Scripture that points to defining what love is and what love does: 1 Corinthians 13.

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  ⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NKJV

On the surface most preachers deliver this passage as a barometer of sorts to tell their congregation that if they cannot love with all of these characteristics, then they are failing at loving the way that God wants them to love.  Some ministers even use this passage at weddings to tell the couple that are about to become united that they must strive to love one another this way.  At face value who wouldn’t agree with this logic?  It seems pretty simple and clear.  But what if I told you that God was not telling you how to love others, but rather He was telling you HOW He loves you?

Receiving The Grace To Love

The problem with telling people that this is how they must love others is that it presupposes that they, in and of themselves, have the ability to love this way.  As we have said before (and will continue to do so) when Jesus was asked what is the greatest commandment, He responded by saying to love God with all that you are, and to love people as much as you love yourself, and even though this is true no one has ever been able to keep this law.  The purpose of the law was to show how far we actually are from ever being “good enough” for God, and at the same time showing us how far God would go to save us in His love for us!

The Greek word for love in 1 Corinthians 13 is the word “agape” which speaks of the pure love that only God has.  It is a sacrificial love that He would display when He gave His only Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Because the word agape is used here, it can mean only one thing: 1 Corinthians is not a target we are to strive for, rather it’s a dictionary defining how God loves you.  When you understand this you can abandon your own strength to try and love your spouse this way, your children this way, your neighbor this, even yourself this way, and find God’s grace to rest knowing that as you let Him love you, you will in turn love others from the inside out.

“We love because He first loved us.”

1 John 4:19 NIV

Enjoying His favor,

Matthew